It's Just a State Of Mind

When a person decides to do something, and to put their all into it, that's usually 3/4 of the win right there.  Once you have decided on something, your focus changes, and your energy expenditure shifts toward the thing you're focused on - of course.



For instance,


if you decide to loose weight, not just think you "need to go on a diet", but actually decide that it is time and you are going to do it - you do it. Usually when this happens, the weight loss is a success.    



If you decide you are going to do well in school, or in a subject, then you work that much harder at doing well - you do it.    
If you decide you are going to save some money, and you set a reasonable goal, you work hard toward making that happen, even going without something you really wanted - you do it.

It's all a mind game, but one that works.
When you make a decision, then your focus changes, and that decision becomes the centre of your thoughts.


Well, I've made a decision, and it has begun to invade my thoughts; whether I want it to or not, (and I don't).
It's strange that we have lived away from "home" for  7 ½ years now,  and I have not felt truly homesick; I have missed home, missed things about home, missed people - but not felt actually homesick.

About three or four months ago Dean was asked to sign a new contract for the coming school year. There have been a number of ridiculous things happen at the school, which have been very frustrating for him, but he chooses to work around/with them.  I feel some (many) of these things are unacceptable, (he's stronger than I am) but... well, who am I; what do I know?  I say nothing.
He still has not signed his contract, and has in fact applied for the principle position at this same school we're currently at here in Germany.
He has also been put on the contracted teachers list with the Calgary School Board, back home in Canada.
Usually by this time of year we know what we are doing, and where we will be, (or be going) by the coming summer.  We don't, and we don't.

I find myself thinking about the kids more and more, and thinking about things I would do with them - if I were there. Now that's not to say I have not thought about the kids over the past 7 ½ years, I have, lots, but they were just that - thoughts.  However, the ones I seem to have lately are no longer thoughts: it has become longing.
I think about them now, and my heart hurts; I want to be there, to see them often; I want to do things with them; I want to be in/part of their lives.  I want my kids.





I know we will be here for another school year for sure, and that's .... alright.  It will not be as easy as it has been in the past, but hey, if I've learned anything at all, it's how fast a year can go.
If Dean gets the principle job, *sigh   it will be another three years.  Ouch.
If Dean gets a job offer in a really good school in Calgary - we're going home!  YES!
We should find something out this coming week regarding the principle job... this week is going feel longer than a year!
It's all a state of mind; I will be fine with whatever happens; sometimes one form of fine is happier than another.