I have been to so many doctors, I have had so many tests and X-rays done, I have been to so many different forms of medical "fixers" - and tried so many things; so why am I still in
SO MUCH PAIN!!
I don't get it: why does nothing work?
I am not convinced that the Lyrica is working either, so I think I am going to wean myself off it... I will however wait until after my surgery tomorrow to do so.
The pain for the past few days, begins in the top of my right shoulder blade, moves up my neck, super intense at the base of my skull on the right side; it feels like a tightly strung wire that needs to snap so the pressure can be released; I just wish it would snap! From there it radiates up through my head and stops right behind my right eye.
There is no getting rid of it, no relief, I can't escape it, and it has been like this for three days now. I have taken copious muscle relaxants, and very strong painkillers; they sometimes numb the pain, somewhat, but it is absolutely still there! Very intensely so.
In class yesterday, when the kids were constantly coming to me asking "how do I do this?", for the hundredth time after I very slowly and thoroughly explained the assignment, I almost lost it; I wanted, so badly, to yell in a not kind and loving voice: "are you guys really that stupid?!" Of course I didnt...
Sometimes it's so hard to keep smiling; so hard to fake the happy "I am fine, how are you?" every day BS that people play.
When someone asks me that, what I really want to say is: "I hurt like hell, feel nauseous at times, keep getting spinny double vision, want to lay down but know that will just make my headache worse, and could cry right about now. How are you doing?"
But that would probably be rude, and they would feel awkward.
So I just smile, don't answer their inquiry, and ask them how they are doing.
And when I ask, I actually listen to the answer, and ask them more; I don't just ask to be polite, or hear myself talk...
Strange, I know, it's just the way I am.
Speaking of which:
How come no one can fix me?
SO MUCH PAIN!!
I don't get it: why does nothing work?
I am not convinced that the Lyrica is working either, so I think I am going to wean myself off it... I will however wait until after my surgery tomorrow to do so.
There is no getting rid of it, no relief, I can't escape it, and it has been like this for three days now. I have taken copious muscle relaxants, and very strong painkillers; they sometimes numb the pain, somewhat, but it is absolutely still there! Very intensely so.
In class yesterday, when the kids were constantly coming to me asking "how do I do this?", for the hundredth time after I very slowly and thoroughly explained the assignment, I almost lost it; I wanted, so badly, to yell in a not kind and loving voice: "are you guys really that stupid?!" Of course I didnt...
Sometimes it's so hard to keep smiling; so hard to fake the happy "I am fine, how are you?" every day BS that people play.
When someone asks me that, what I really want to say is: "I hurt like hell, feel nauseous at times, keep getting spinny double vision, want to lay down but know that will just make my headache worse, and could cry right about now. How are you doing?"
But that would probably be rude, and they would feel awkward.
So I just smile, don't answer their inquiry, and ask them how they are doing.
And when I ask, I actually listen to the answer, and ask them more; I don't just ask to be polite, or hear myself talk...
Strange, I know, it's just the way I am.
Speaking of which:
How come no one can fix me?
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